Sunday, February 22, 2009

Falling in Love

So my little bro is falling in love (as is his totally cute, sweet, smart gf - can you tell I like her?). It reminds me of when Shane and I fell in love. There was something so right about all of it. I was (and am) tremendously lonely whenever he was gone. I don't know how we survived living in two states for eleven months expect through our utter faith in one another and enormous phone bills. Shane can see me the way no one else can. The thought of not being with him through my life's journey brought me unbearable sorrow and pain and the dream/image/thought of being with him brought a great sense of peace, joy, freedom, and a deep centered power. There's really no other feeling like it. It was a knowing that was deep - body/soul deep - the knowing that overwhelms and confounds the knowing that comes from the brain.

I started thinking about falling in love the other day when I went to my older son's school singing assembly. The fifth graders performed a rap about not smoking (oy!) and one rotund kid came forward, mumbling out a free flowing extended "improv" as cool as could be and another kid got up performed a break dance routine that was straight-up old school. The other kids cheered and boogied in their seats. And I started to cry. Seriously cry, tears of joy flowing down my face. I think what got me was the sense of pride in the whole class as they worked together and enjoyed the skills of their classmates. Each grade performed a song. The first graders (M's class) and the kindergartners sang a very sweet song (more tears): I like being me/and my friends help me see/I'm somebody special/happy as can be./I feel good inside/when I do what's right/I help my friends and family/I like being me. Eli and I cuddled as we watched the performances. And I swear I fell in love with all the kids/teachers/parents/etc in the auditorium.

After taking Eli to his preschool (where I already know I am in love with all his friends and have the hardest time leaving each morning) I came home and listened to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill yet again while doing laundry and grading papers. Hill's song "To Zion" was one of the inspirations for MZ's name. That song never fails to get me crying . . . "And I thank you for choosing me/To come here unto life to be/A beautiful expression of His grace." I know I'm not getting the lyrics exactly right - but this is what I hear. I think so much of the living of life well requires falling in love with life, falling in love over and over again with the people who surround us, with the Earth that sustains us, with the Spiritual powers that nurture us - with everything. Because everything is everything -- L Boogie is absolutely right on that account.

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